Thankful for You

Dear Zélie-Louise,

In the past you were thankful for your family, your friends, your house, your pets, your education and so on. This year I want you to be thankful for yourself on top of all of the above. And here is why:

You are blessed because you have LIFE – and though it is a good one filled with blessings, you should be thankful because you know there were those few times that you almost lost it, or the times that you almost threw it away … Zélie, you still have life and you have recently begun to guard it preciously- something you might not have in the past. You learned to realize the worth of your life, you learned to want to live it, you learned how to try to live it to it’s fullest. You learned to want more than to throw it away. Zélie, you learned to live.

You are healthy – and by healthy I mean that you care about your health. I look at you take your pills in the morning, I look at you take the rest you need, I see you have made the decision to go to therapy… You care about yourself, I can see that now. I no longer watch you drink and then pop multiple pain killers, I no longer watch you stay up all night filling the emptiness with things, I no longer see you hold everything in to yourself and losing your mind in a circle of hurt.

You are successful and smart – though you may deny it on too daily of a basis. Look at how far you’ve come, Zélie- you will be graduating with a Masters degree at age 21 this year. Look at how God gave you gifts and you used them and strengthened them and are coming to such an accomplishment. Do you remember how you applied and got accepted into a university at 16? That was already huge but you brought it further, and even if it all began in tears and your notebooks have too many scribbles and question marks, you never thought you’d be as far as you are now…learning and reading the things that you are.

You are beautiful, inside and out – You have opened up and are honest about your reality, and try to lift up everything to a happy note. You used to hide yourself in makeup and never expressed a strong opinion . . . you watered yourself down into dull existence. You were happy on the outside, but cared little about the inside. You were hurting, and faking it, and not doing anything about it. Now you have accepted that, and are working with yourself. Not only that but you’re honest to other people about it, and walk slowly the journey to peace.

You are strong – I watched you stand up after every single time you fell, or you were pushed. I watched you struggle through addictions, whether it be pornography, alcohol, pain killers, self harm, attention from others, and so on- you came out on top every.single.time. I watch and see how you comfort yourself and pick yourself up again after every time you fall, and how you’ve learned not to beat yourself up about it. I watched you dry your tears and learn to love yourself after emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. I watched you learn how to love yourself and your quirks and faults despite your struggles, despite the countless of things done to you or said to you, I watched you through it Zélie, and your journey has turned out beautiful. You rose up above those who abused you. You rose up above those who used you. You rose up above those who thought badly of you. You rose up above those who spoke badly about you. You rose up above those who didn’t believe in you. You rose up against yourself, who was your biggest enemy.

Today, Zélie-Louise, rise up against yourself. You hated yourself, you thought yourself to be the weakest and useless human in the world. Today is the day that I see you can rise up above that thought and realize the falsehood of this reaction

I want you, reading this, to be thankful of yourself today. Give me reasons, why are you thankful for yourself? You should be. Today is the day to break your thoughts about yourself and reform them.

This year, Zélie-Louise, I want you to be thankful for you.

You are alive.

You are healthy.

You are successful.

You are beautiful.

You Are Strong.