the morning commute

It’s a regular day, in an every day city, and I’m in the middle of it. I enter the train with the rest of the commuters and look around. The people cram in, talking and chatting, some crying, some sullen, some drunk…and I can feel it. I feel it all and somehow I know how they feel. I put my earphones in, trying to focus on one thing…focus on one thing…focus. I breath it out.

Five minutes later.

The next train stop, the next slew of people. Now we’re more crammed, now there are more noises so I turn my music up, trying to focus on one thing…focus on one thing…focus. {Sensitivity & Awareness, in need of love}

I look up and he’s looking at me, I turn to the right, she’s looking at me…my palms get sweaty, my heart starts racing, is there something wrong? What’s on my face? What have I done wrong? Have I offended someone? I put my head down, trying to focus on one thing…looking at the strands of fabric on my jeans…focus on one thing….focus. { Anxiety, in need of love }

Flashback. Panic. I smell his cologne, is he here? Where is that smell coming from? I bury my nose into my backpack, close my eyes, and rush out at the next stop. Was it him, or was it someone just wearing the same perfume? {PTSD, in need of love}

Wow, she’s so beautiful, I think, as I tug on my ripped jeans. I glance up and look at how she’s done her makeup…I wish I did mine like that. Her hair, I wish mine was that beautiful..oh look she’s smiling, wow she’s stunning. I wish I were like her. I lower my eyes, another chip has fallen off of my self esteem. {Insecurity, in need of love}

I get in the tram, just like every single day, and I feel like I can’t do this anymore. My job is awful, my coworkers leave me out, no one tips me correctly, I have no friends, my rent is due….why is life so horrible to me? Why me? I’m angry, again. I’m sad, again. Where is life going? {Disappointed & Worn out, in need of love}

I get in the tram, I put in my earphones and ride the tram. (In need of love.)

…..

We will never know what people are going through around us, but there is one thing we can know, that everyone is in need of love including ourselves.

even a loving smile has the ability to change someone’s day around, and a scowl, the ability to change someone’s day also.

Be aware of your surroundings, be kind to the people around you.

Xx